My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
