You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
