I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
