I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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