oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
