I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
