I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
