Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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