I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
