If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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