His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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