And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
