Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize