iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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