No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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