I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
