my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
