Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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