Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize