My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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