She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
