I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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