I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
