what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize