If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
