Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
