I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
