Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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