I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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