brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
