Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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