Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
