When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
