is wine microwaveable?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
