"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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