Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
