whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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