Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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