I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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