Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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