Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
