Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize