he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
