Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
