No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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