We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
