U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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