doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
