You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
