It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
