Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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