Don't EVER smell your tampon
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Randomize
