garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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