Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
