i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
