If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
