Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
