I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
