Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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