she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
