I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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